It's been 3 months................

It's been almost 3 months since I moved to Kolkata. 


Kolkata - the City of Joy, or so I heard. So far it's been all 'chaap', 'chaap' and more 'chaap'. I thought that getting into a job would solve all my problems, financial or otherwise. On the contrary it appears that they've escalated. I never ever had to worry about managing money, visiting the laundry, standing in a queue for gas cylinders and shit. God, since when did I become so responsible?


My workplace (or should I call it my classroom?) is literally a place where condescension rules - atleast I feel so. Most of the CS-IT guys know about technologies I haven't heard of ; and my friends previously regarded me as some sort of a tech-guru. Everyday I head for office with some worry or another - presentation, diagnostics, cross-faculty viva or some shit I dont know about yet. On a positive note, my ILP days are almost over and unless I get into LAAP (or what is it called?), I should be okay.


People say that workplace is the last place to make friends. Well, I know 52 working days are not enough to judge someone, but I made some new friends. Especially when someone is as unsocial (not anti-social) as me, it's not easy. I cant open up to people or initiate some random conversation. No number of BizSkill classes can help me with this.


Rest of it, thankfully, is fine. The place where I live is no Palm Springs, but I'm kinda beginning to like it there. I never wanted to live in Salt Lake, mostly because I'm a city guy. So Salt Lake (no offense to my friends who are living there) is not to my liking. Jadavpur-Santoshpur is better in that respect. Before I came here, I thought I'd be exploring Kolkata a little bit everyday. It hasn't happened yet. Well, plenty of time to explore Kolkata when I'm sitting on the infamous 'bench' .. Lol :-)

My life as it stands now

I'm not even sure if anyone reads the shit I type. So what am I still doing here? Good question. Well, it's been a long time between posts and just thought I might as well do something constructive. So here it is...

First of all, I've been away 'coz I didn't have a f**king topic to blabber about. Even now I don't. But, you know...

In my last post I told you'll that I was having negative vibes about being selected for TCS. Well, I got through, along with most of the guys from my college. That somehow doesn't say much about our individual achievements though!

Next up, I made an utter fool of myself by announcing to all and sundry that I'll go for an MBA instead of joining TCS. But as usual, fate played a dirty trick and next thing you know, I'm 'trolled'. I wouldn't go as far as to say that the B-School was shitty, but it wouldn't have suited me. The same goes for the food served at the hostel mess.

Love life? Well, there's nothing to talk about. What I've discovered is that I'm too complicated, and no sane woman could/would/should stick with me. I'm selfish, sexist, and too damn self-centered. If I could maybe 'take my ego out of the equation', something would have happened. So far, it's all downhill.

So here I am, sitting around on my lazy ass all day at home, watching TV, FaceBook-ing, basically wasting time. I just hope 10th September would arrive soon........

Fingers crossed !!

It's been announced. TCS will be recruiting students from my batch, starting at the end of this month. Students in the previous batch who had a GPA of 7.5 and above (avg. in 6 semesters) had been exempted from appearing in the dreaded aptitude tests.. failure in which would mean no recruitment. This time round, they have decided to do away with the system. And that technically spells doom for me.

Personally, I would've been glad if some other companies came first, because by then I would have acquired a certain confidence. Honestly speaking, I don't see myself being selected by the other hotshot companies out there, like Nokia, Accenture etc. Also I've no idea if they'll be coming to our college at all. All my hopes now lie on TCS.

I've never really believed in God. But if I did, now would be a good time to start! :-)

Discriminations...............

Before I get into the actual topic...allow me to say something about myself.Most of my close friends know this.So if you are among them...you can skip this part...but I recommend that you read it...'coz then you'll get an idea about what I'm talking about.


My full name is Rizwi Hossain Khondekar...or rather Khondekar Rizwi Hossain...it doesnt really matter.I'm a Muslim...and I wont lie to you...I know very little about my own religion...this is not exactly something to be proud of....rather...it's scary...But if u were to see the environment I was brought up in...it wud fit in.My father's name is Khondekar Mohammed Hasnat...and my mother's name is Manika Ghosh...yes..she's a Hindu.


If I really probe deeper...I see that the only thing I inherited from my dad was my religion...and his surname...I'm not as hardworking as he is...neither am I that cool.On the other hand...My mom had the greater impact on me...It wud not be an exaggeration if I say that I was brought up as a Hindu...and not as a Muslim.I had never been to a mosque till about a year back...while I had travelled to temples all over Kolkata and Puri even when I was a child...even now when I'm in some kinda trouble...which is frequent...I call upon Bhagobaan...and not Allah.

I have pictures and idols of all the Hindu Gods and Goddesses in my room...I fast on Maha-astomi during the Durga Pujas...I dance at Vijaya Dashami...Most of my cousins are Hindus....and I seem to bond with my Hindu friends better than the Muslim ones....


My mom and dad sacrificed a lot...nobody accepted a Muslim man(no matter how educated he was) marrying a Kshatriya Hindu woman just like that...they had to face a lot of difficulties...though eventually both families accepted it later...as they say..."the wounds healed but the scars remained"..................


I didnt have to stay at the ghettos most minorities confine themselves to...we stayed...or rather...we stay..at more or less...a good locality.But I will never forget the statement a landlord made..."Apnara to Musalmaan...bujhtei parchen...apnader ghar bhara dewa jabe na"...I was in class 4 at that time...and though I didnt understand the whole fuss about being a Musalmaan...I thought that we were something else...unlike most of the people with whom we interact.

When I was very young...I didnt particularly feel discriminated against...but that feeling wasnt to last long...When I was in class 6...most of my class friends were invited to the Sacred Thread Ceremony of one of my very very close friend...but I was the only one out...As I heard it later....even though my friend wanted to invite me...his parents were dead opposed to the idea of inviting a musalmaan boy to the sacred ceremony...lest the God became infuriated...


As I got older...the discrimination became more evident...even if a boy was dying out of thirst...he wudn't normally accept water from me...let alone sharing my tiffin...it so happened that I didnt carry my tiffins to school class 9 onwards...out of shame...and though my mom pleaded with me to tell her the reason...I declined...I didnt want to hurt my mom............

My first love...yes...that was soon to follow...I loved her so dearly...I really did...I was in class 7 or 8...I'm not sure...She was this lovely Punjabi gal from my locality...We chatted every evening...but it came to a sudden stop...reason??...her parents thought that it wasnt a good idea to let their precious daughter talk to a Muslim boy...No matter how young he is...but he still carries the Muslim blood in his veins.....................................................


It so happened that at this point of time...one of my friends got close to a muslim gal...I didnt know that gal ofcourse...but my friends made fun of this guy about having a muslim girlfriend...This friend told them..."Why...since you can be friends with Rizwi..who's a muslim...what's wrong in having a muslim girlfriend?"....I salute u...Puspen!


I'm in college...and the discrimination is evident here...Being a minority here as well...most of my classmates look at me with suspicions in their eyes...and what they cannot really understand is that..."How on earth can someone be a Bengali...and a Muslim..at the same time?"..........


I dunno if stuff like dese happen to every muslim lad like me......


I'm sure...I'll be discriminated against the rest of my life...but that's a challenge...u see...my father beat everything to become the man he is today...and I'm gonna follow in his footsteps.

TEENAGE "SOULMATES"

I'm 18+..and I'm straight...but I dont have much experience with the fairer sex...so pardon me if I talk like a novice..

Many of my friends(both boys and girls),who are about my age,claim that they have already found their soulmates...lucky for them.I'm not here to criticise their feats...but what amazes me is that have we even reached the sufficient age when we are capable of choosing soulmates...?

You see...soulmates are supposed to be with each other at all times...be it good or bad...but frankly...is two/three years of courtship enough to find those qualities in someone...?

It is said that teenage years are the most vital...'coz it's the time strange changes occur within us (both physical and mental)...and makes us complete.A slightest imbalance pushes us over a cliff...

Let me share a story with u guys...A friend of mine (let's call him A) loved a girl who was his classmate.The girl was unaware of his feelings...but secretly she admired him(mind you..."admired"...not "loved").A was afraid of letting the girl know his feelings...but eventually he proposed to that girl...egged on by his classmates.Predictably..the girl said yes...

How happy A was that fateful day...he threw a bash...and many of his friends(including me) had a hearty dinner at his expense.They began to see each other...............and within a short span...became intimate.They were confident( atleast my friend was)...that they were soulmates.
But not all relationships are made in heaven...After some days...the girl made it quite clear that she wanted a way out of the relationship...She would fight with A over trifle issues...and would accuse him of misdoings all the time.When confronted by mutual friends...her reply was that her relationship with A was just simple attraction...which she mistook as love...and now that relationship was suffocating her.

U can well realise what happened to A after that...he was shattered...He tried to pacify the girl many times over...but all his pleas fell on deaf ears.......After all...A's love for the girl was true.The unpleasant episode took a heavy toll on his studies................
But now...after so many days...matters are have changed for the better.
The former "lovebirds" study in different colleges...and guess what...they are in "Love" with once again...................................with different people though!


So I ask you:Whatever happened to their notion of "soulmates"..?